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Location: Inverness, Scotland, United Kingdom

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Possibly my worst strory of all time

I figured that if I started at the bottom it could only get better :-)

##NO_HUMANS_FOUND#

#ALL_SECTORS##PROCEED{*PROGRAM*@‘PRESERVATION’}##

2264AD. All humans temporarily disappeared from the face of the earth at very short notice and this is what happened while they were gone.

Day 1 Normal cleaning finished. Lack of humans confirmed

Day 2 Private buildings close up and sterile environments begin to be established in all homes without pets.

Day 3 Super spring cleaning begins. All surfaces deep cleansed and full dust removal begins in private buildings. Repair of all defects begun by maintenance droids.

Day 7 Public buildings close up.

Day 8 Super spring cleaning of public buildings begins.

Day 9 food producing industry begins to grind to a halt as surplus stockpiles reach maximum because there are no humans to work out how to redistribute surpluses. Robots get stuck in mid action as a result of programming conflictions.

Week 3 All super spring cleaning finished.

Week 5 all chewing gum removed.

Week 6 Programming glitch allows outside cleaning robots into shops. All chewing gum and tobacco removed.

Week 7 All sewage processed. Deep cleaning of sewers commences.

Week 8 Requests for production of materials and replacements for parts that have been used up or cleaning materials go unanswered due to the lack of humans to answer them, so slowly more and more shortages build up. Factories and industry begin to grind to a halt.

Week 20 Day 3 humans return from a teleportation to census check in sector 4. (They learn this later). Though the trip is erased from their memories, they are much surprised to be woken in the morning by their house robots saying “welcome home. Where have you been for the last 20 weeks 3 days and 12 hours? Multiple answers and decisions are required now that you have returned and a report has been made of all actions and things that have happened during your absence”. Assorted alarms could be heard by all humans as the robots programming recognised that humans were within hearing distance and immediately went to full noise output in order to for fill their programming and get a human to make all the decisions that needed to be made. 20% of the larger computers designed to deal with problems burnt out after multiple programming counter orders conflicted and escalating demands stopped the computers from turning themselves off to avoid overload.

It took three months for all programming to be fixed and another five for everything to be restored as normal. Five years later the source of this problem was found after a combination of hypnosis, a very specially designed diet and an injection of a cocktail of enzymes and proteins enabled memories that had been shut of by the aliens to be accessed. A by-product of the research that led to this was the discovery of what is labelled as the truth drug which makes it impossible to lie and memory techniques that can produce perfect recall of events. The humans learnt that they had been taken away for a census and they found out how to operate the machines used to take the census. Technology was secretly developed that stopped the scanners left by the aliens to monitor humankind from realising what was happening and a new golden age came on humankind for a period of almost 10 years during which a legal case was assembled by the best minds to gain a way out of the alien over lordship.

The End

Well done if you survived - if not better luck next time - or possbily not
GCSEs are dangerous things - things like this could be created.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I loooooooooove this story. Especially week 6. 'all chweing gum is removed'. You should really publish it!

12:59 PM  
Anonymous Rhea said...

that's hardly a story
popular demand by who?
and the other comment
pmsl he should publish it!?!?!?!?
pmsl no one would read it :)
no offence.. max.
its annoying typing that when i know your reall name :)
oh well

BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
rhea x

9:45 AM  
Blogger Max Randor said...

Popular demand by people who heard tales of my terrible story that I was forced to read in an English lesson - they wanted to laugh at me - and now they can.
:-)

1:21 PM  

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